I only have four more weeks to work, but no lust what so ever. I am so not up to working anymore. I work 2 weeks. Then I am at my higher education in Stockholm and study for a week. Then I have two weeks left on the assignment. Then I’m done here. I have nowhere to live. I anulled the apartment. So I cannot work here in the spring, even if they would offer me. I am not up for it anymore. I will go to Stockholm. Home. I hate Stockholm and I will not be friends with that town or the people living there. Stress, stress, stress. It only offers me people fixated on looks, apartments and training. I am so fucking uninterested in apperence, fitness and that. Stockholm has to many shallow people. No real substance. They don’t like me either. I don’t fit in there.
In my hometown I fit the city. I like my city. But I don’t want to teach the kids that lie or rebell. I am so not interested in problems. If I could get paid full for not going to work I would. I don’t wanna work anymore… I am not there anymore. My body is, but I am not. I am not all in anymore. That mood is totally gone.
The snow fell today. It has been snowing. Winter is here.