Fiction by Living Forum.
She knew she had the power of the will of God, but didn’t want to use it. The system for the planet was on autopilot. A complicated system, could resemble a future idea of AI, but made by God. A system of rules.
By now she knew who she was and what her mission was. God has yet woke her up in this lifetime. She wasn’t thrilled about waking up. She never asked for it. The period of awareness tour her apart. She had to be rebuilt again. The power of God is so intense, that regular human die from it. But she wasn’t really human in her soul, only her body. She had an archangel soul, but none of the ones mentioned in the book. She was God’s secret. Nobody knows about her except God. God wanted it that way. But still, people sensitive to auras and energies feel her strong aura when she passes them by. They don’t know what she is, but they can feel she is special.
During the period of awakening her feelings got so intense she just lay down overwhelmed by the intense power of love. She cried enormously much, so her tears dried up. That was a strange feeling, not being able to cry, because she cried so much all her tears where gone. They came back after a week. She sighed by relief. It wasn’t fun having dry eyes. Her feelings made her love the whole world and being willing to forgive assholes that mass murdered people, just as God would. Her mind told her not to, but her heart guided her to forgive. Forgive everyone for their sins, as long as they asked for forgiveness and believed in God. It was as if she knew what God would do. The right thing, it was so intense for a couple of months. The energies from the surroundings where so much, she got so powerless and drained by feeling all the emotions in her surroundings. Finally one day, she had enough. She asked God to turn of and numb her feeling to the way they where before. God did. The feeling got numb again. She feels, but the feelings are safely tucked way, so she doesn’t have to feel with such intensity it cripples her. It is safety for her to not be connected to her feelings in a Godly way. She prefers to not feel that much. It’s easier to turn a blind eye to the suffering and to focus on the mission God gave her, if she remains numb. But the numbness doesn’t put her of her human side. She still knows how to feel, but less intense. Human emotions. For her they are light, but for you they might be considered strong.
The love for humanity is still there, but she feels hate, she feels she likes, when the feelings are numb she doesn’t love the whole world as intense as during the awakening period. She loves, but her feelings are numb, so she doesn’t have to act out. She can let it be. God has given her a lot of tools. The tools give her more advantages in life. She is special. She serves God. God has her under God’s wings…
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