2. Chapter. The gift that really is a curse.

Fiction by Living Forum.

Imagine someone with the power to get her will come true, anytime, anywhere. Might seem like a gift at first? But start thinking about it… and it turns into a terrible curse. Imagine someone with such strong mind power that it affects your thinking pattern. Imagine having bad thoughts. Affects everyone around her, even though she is nice and smiles… because inside she is black, thinking negative thoughts about herself. Almost all the time. So the gift turns into a curse. She gets everything her way, then she starts having negative thoughts and all turns sour. She wishes she found someone that wasn’t affected by her thoughts and likes or loves her anyway, even though she thinks bad thoughts about herself all the time. Perhaps she has that, but she isn’t happy. She isn’t unhappy either. She just lives with the moment of truth. The gift that has turned into a curse. Just as the Christian prayer that says: “Our Father, which art in heaven hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.[..]” Imagine having that power. What human has that power? Who wants that power? Maybe she never wanted to have a power like that, but God laid God’s hands on her. She doesn’t know why. The world has revealed itself to her, bit by bit and she is in wandering in and out of dark and light, dispar and happiness. All the time. It dispars her to see what the world does. It haunts her heart. At times she cries. She cannot take it, she sees all the signs. She tries to speak up, but she doesn’t feel anyone really listens. She is the messenger of God. She hasn’t told anyone. She is afraid the world would lock her in… nobody believes for real anymore, clouded by idolization and the Christians don’t even understand what sits next to them. She chooses to be silent about the truth, she even wonders herself. Has insanity finally got her? Is she insane, but God just shows her all the time… she cannot no longer not see it. It is so clear. She tries to hide the truth. She’s just a servant. A servant of God. Who’s will is she really following, hers or God’s? Her dreams tell her who she really is. She is scared. She doesn’t want to be… but she has not really rejected the thought, somehow deep inside she thinks… the dream might be true… she circles a little bit more. She doesn’t know… why it all happened to her. She feels shitty and worthless. She doesn’t know why… the country she lives in rejects her. She tries so hard to fit in, but there really isn’t a fit for her. She already knows that. Or is it just her thoughts manifesting themselves again? She doesn’t like being in this place. Her will becoming reality all the time. Her non will also, as ripples from things she said or did. They mutate and start a chain reaction. Each crime committed has a purpose. She sees it and she cries. Tries to communicate the most important ones, but she cannot. She’s seen so much. Nobody of human 1.0 understands, perhaps humans 2.0 understand… humans 3.0 would understand. What is she? Maybe she isn’t human, maybe she is a hybrid? A hybrid of heaven and Earth. Is she an angel? What kind of angel is she really? She wonders if she is bright or dark. She doesn’t want to to be… but realises it is not her choice, she is what she is. She lives with it. The other’s don’t really know what she is. But some just hate her and reject her on first contact. She has wondered through life that way, loved or hated where ever she’s gone.

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