I don’t deliver perfection

I just don’t deliver on my interviews as I once did. I have lost my “mojo” on those, but not my applications. I haven’t applied for that many summer jobs, but I have gotten 2 interviews. I already gotten no thanks from the first interview. Hmm. The other summer job I should get, since I have worked with the area, so on paper it looks good. But if I was enough on the interview and the group work? I wasn’t on the first interview, so I had different tactics this time. To not take space and not be in the spotlight. To be fucking quite and not intense when I speak. Be calm. Well, I hope that was enough. I however don’t know what to write in the questions anymore. I did my best, since I really don’t know myself right now. The education has rocked my world and I have felt lost as a person. I am changing as a person and I don’t know if my truths that used to be are valid anymore. I tried to answer accordingly to present me, but I don’t know if I was good enough. It remains to be seen. At least I didn’t make a fool of myself. In this second job I can be fat, without discrimination for that, the other job… perhaps wanted slim people… If I don’t get a summer job it is what it is. I have applied for summer classes, I will have to see if I will attend one, that is the backup plan.

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