When hospitals become the regular thing

I have a mum that has worked in health care almost all my life. It took me with her to work. I got to meet the patients. I even became friends with a selected group of them. I used to call them, visit them and just talk. They where my friends, even though they where old and retired. I had old friends. I loved them. They where like family. Three of them left memories in me for life.I interviewed once of them for my school project. It was interesting to hear a life story. I don’t regret doing the interview. It made me know the person better. I am glad we had that school project, to interview an old person about their life story. This gave me the opportunity to do something, get to know someone more. I have interviewed my grandmother, but we only got to the when my father was born. Then we didn’t continue. Now I cannot. I wish I could have.

Well. My sibling used to be sick as a child, from it was just a month old and until childhood really. As a teenager it got declared healthy. But this of course means my sibling grew up in hospitals, in a fact so did I. Visiting in the hospital, having a mum at the hospital now and then. I had to be an extra parent really. Taking care of my sibling, leaving and getting it from childcare. Taking care of the household duties. Well, anyway. I then studied to be a qualified nurse assistant at high school. It is not nurse assistant and not nurse, it is an education in between. Anyway. That means I have grown up with sick, handicapped, old people and people in need of help somehow. I am used to people dying away. To sadness, to crying, to caring and to be in such an environment, so it is just a regular day for me. Being sad, being around the sick, it is normal. I feel. I embrace the feeling and I don’t neglect it. I know it is a part of life.

Then add the fact I’ve seen bullying, discrimination and other bad things through work and schools on top of this. So, this is my life, being on the border to what others perhaps think is a bad life, but I don’t consider it bad to be around people in need. I feel joy in helping others, even though it is hard to see people going through it. I like helping. I guess I love it in fact. It just comes natural. It is just something one should do. Care. But to many in this world don’t care, that scares me. That makes me even more sad. That people just don’t care. Indifference scares me. Everybody can be indifferent. Everybody can neglect. I am not throwing any stones, I am not without sin. I just think to many are in that state to often. That scares me. But I understand that people can be there, they perhaps just cannot handle more. But not all are there, they don’t want to know and some don’t want to care. That is too true. Some never cared. Some never will, if not given the tools. You need education and influence to care, if it doesn’t come natural. Some are sick in  their minds and cannot care.

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