Blog post

I wrote a blog post at the university I attended(one of three actually) during the spring. We have university blogs, that they want us to use for evaluation, progress and reflection and our studies. So I use it for all those purposes. The blog is all about the studies. I wrote that I won’t study in the fall. I also said that I felt discriminated by many of the things said in some classes and that I didn’t feel welcome due to the stereotypes they projected during the spring. Not those words, but in Swedish and much more critising. The university wonders why low-income household children don’t continue studies as much as high-income households children. Also they ask themselves why immigrants are less represented with some backgrounds at the university. Well, I didn’t feel welcome being of both those backgrounds. If you only knew the books they made me read. If you only knew how much sorrow they made me feel. How much they ripped me apart during the spring. It has been psycological warfare to go to this program at that university. And they wonder why they cannot recruit from other than well set off families? I don’t wonder. I didn’t feel welcome. In order to read those things it was easier to be numb, from another background than mine, otherwise, how could it be easy? It wasn’t against me as a person, it was more my background that didn’t feel welcome. So it is a relief to take a break, even though it is not smart. They need people like me with that education, but they make it so difficult for me. So difficult. They don’t even see it, how much they hurt people like me. So I blogged about it. Hopefully the professors read it. At least my classmates will… when school starts. I have written I am taking a break. I am studying my other program and other classes. Need to find good studies, hoping the other ideology is closer to mine. At least it feels it should be. I just hope the people are nice and I don’t come off to much as an oddboll, like I often do… I liked many of my class mates during the spring, but… the studies and the brainwashing was to tough on me. I hope these other studies are better. Someone said they are psycological. Someone said that we will have to work with our childhood and process it. Hmm. It will be difficult, since my childhood is probably one of the worst kinds you could have. But I hope they know what they are doing, afterall this education has had 100 years to develop. I cannot take more abuse from the higher studies…

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