Fuck this

1,5 credits will hinder me from studying. Sometimes life is just to much. I don’t seem to be able to hand in any new assignment either. I didn’t know I only had one chance. But it seems common, I asked my neighbour. She told me about a man in the same situation. He had to quit his studies. The rules are that we need to have a number of full-filled classes in order to be granted access to continued studies. That means, that if you lack 1,5 credits the course is not completed, therefore you may not continue your studies, no matter how many credits you have in total, since one of the courses is incomplete. I didn’t apply for dispensation earlier, which I obviously should have. That date is due, so I cannot apply. I didn’t know that the assignment couldn’t be handed in more than one extra time. Feels shitty. A-kassa doesn’t grant me to take a year off, they will force me to quit in order to get a-kassa. Those are the rules and I have known them in advance. I always knew there was a risk. Well. I am used to Muris all my life, so this is just one of many. It has been though to work and study. But since I won’t be able to continue my studies, not ever it seems. Well, okay, then the state will sincerely have to support me the rest of my life. I am done with this shit. Just saying. Good thing I got into the other education in the fall and did say yes to half time studies at the other education as well. So I will try to study something else in the fall. However, if CSN still will grant me dispensation, I don’t know… I was allowed that only for this education… but now I want to study something else… not sure they will be as accepting. I however hope they will. I have applied. I cannot do much more than that. I did also rewrite the assignment and improve it, but since I have no rights on my side, I am not hoping for anything. I guess I will have to quit my studies. I won’t try to find work for real. I will live on a-kassa. I have already enlisted myself as unemployed due to this. I however won’t apply for a-kassa until I know the results of everything. The written exam is still in the pipeline. But I don’t have much hopes for that, they might recognise my handwriting. The state may sincerely support me, they make the rules, I just follow them. If this is what they want, then fuck them. I will stay at home, do what the hell I want. I will make nonsense applications, with no effort. Nobody is going to give me a job even if I put effort in them, so what is the point? My neighbour said I should apply for jobs in health care, but since my back is shitty and I have scolios and bad knees I am not. If I am not a student I cannot do low-paid-jobs. Just saying. Maybe it is a good thing… to get a-kassa. They have actually made it higher since the last time. This is a loose situation for the state. I would cost more. I wouldn’t be of any use for tax income. Just saying. The state looses on all these rules in the end, not just me. I am used to it, I was a looser the day I was born in Sweden. Sweden has rejected me all my life, so this is really no different. I didn’t want to take on student loans, so I worked. That made me fuck up my studies, due to exhaustion. My years of poverty made me work. My experiences tell me I have never been a brilliant student. I am not a student that can finish stuff on the first attempt on everything. I have never been. I am not that “intelligent”, or what ever… maybe I am to tired to do complete things the first time. I don’t have excellent grades either. I am a mediocre student. Average. But then, didn’t the statistics say working class was unintelligent? Oh, yes they did. Then they wonder why there is wrong recruitment in the universities in the educations? They flush people from the lower classes out. That is what they do. We are too stupid. But then again, they only want the brilliant students to study in Sweden. If you are mediocre working class, you are pretty uninteresting. I have no doctor’s degree and I WILL NEVER have one, nor have I ever strived for one either. I don’t even have a higher degree. Just three lower. Well. Anyways. I will continue to have a poor man’s life, like I was ment to have. Unemployed, parasite, living on state money. I am not even allowed to volunteer without permission. I am not allowed to do anything without permission as unemployed. Nothing at all, not ever.

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