The days seem to pass so quickly. Suddenly it is Wednesday. You can never have to many days off work. Next week is yet another working week. However the week after that I haven’t gotten the hours for yet. So I have no idea what hours I will be working. I know it is full-time. I am interested and eager to learn new stuff, but not expecting anything really. Hoping I will learn some new things, but that remains to be seen.
The weather has been real shitty all week. It is as if it’s going to rain, however there was no rain yesterday, even though it seemed there would be.
I am bored. Everything costs money in this world. I wish all museums were free, like they used to be some years ago. That way I could enjoy myself without having money in the pocket. I think it is sad that it costs money. That means that not everyone can visit them.
I have been reading a book. I have read about 90 pages so far. It is very sad reading. It is about Djursholm, a area very exclusive for the rich. However Ekeby used to be an area for the middle class, in Djursholm, which the book also handles. That part of the book says that they delibrity didn’t build good roads and such from the surrounding neighbourhoods until seven years past. The train didn’t go all the way either when coming home from i.e. the theater. The kids in Ekeby where given education like carpending, house hold caretaking and such and not schooled like kids in Djursholm, to become leaders. It is very sad reading that the society excluded all the regular kids. I wouldn’t call them poor, just regular. However the books handles Djursholm and the backside and frontside of the area. It also handles how the spirit of Djursholm is. I can see many things of what is being said in the book about my hometown. We have similar areas, where the rich live and so on. I can also understand the feelings some people have, I have encountered the same in my hometown for the similar area. I can also see myself in the schools and such. I happend to be a “regular” kid. I lived in the center of town, not in the luxury villas. I didn’t have the option of going on luxury trips every year, however many of my classmates in junior high did. They lived totally different lives from me. I guess it was as if I was going to school with kids from Djursholm… when I look at it as an adult. However we were merged in junior high school, not until then. They were already friends with themselves and I didn’t have any friends in my new class. I only knew one, however the person lived in the center, but really it was a goodlooking person and so they invited that person to join. I understand why now, but then I didn’t. The kids mother was from the “right” family. I learned that when the person had to change its lastname in order to get a job after studying to be a lawyer. I didn’t really know the origin of the mother before the name change really. Well, that person does live in Täby now adays, that is also a “good” neighbourhood, but not Djursholm. Well, anyway, I can understand I wasn’t included. My class mates already knew each other, they had money, houses, trips and such, which I didn’t. They most likely also had different clothes, I wasn’t all that into clothes. I had my own ideas. Jeans and t-shirt/sweater. Always. Well. Anyway. I didn’t have such a good start, being in a new class with people totally different from me, working class, immigrant kid, divorced parents. They had “happy families”, wealth. Well, they had it fixed. Then me, I must have been odd in many ways. When we graduated we had a tradition of ribbons in our school. One person wrote that I was a “complicated person”. I can see that better now, as an adult. I however thought of myself as simple and very easy to understand. But then again, perhaps they where the complicated ones, having their own codes and me coming from a totally different background.
However I got a good education, just like the rich kids did, however I didn’t have the option to get as many friends or connections, I was to different really. I was just a regular kid in the wrong class. They shouldn’t have split us up and put our little class among the five-seven other classes with all those rich kids… I understand at the same time they wanted to integrate us “regular” kids into the rich kids…. but I think that was wrong. At least for me, but not for the lawyer I told you about.
I also had hobbies, like rich kids. I realised now, that I have often been surrounded by these kids with money, but I never thought of it that way. Maybe it was strange, being around all that money, but we never talked money. This book makes me understand that I am a poor kid in a rich kids environment in many circumstances. I however have seen the unequal things over the years. I know that the differences are there. I cannot comply, but I know what is expected. You need real good social skills to comply. Or to be a robot and just comply. I cannot. I never could. I have always been me, or at least tried to be, even if people have always tried to change me. I got tired of it, I just cut off those relationships. Even though I now see. They where not regular kids, they where rich kids that I cut off… but I never thought of their backgrounds. But reading this book I have started to see the resemblance. Of couse it has been difficult for me, being a regular “Joe” or “Anne”, in the wrong environment. That is also the reason I no longer really fit into the “right”, working class environment either because of my association with rich kids… I no longer belong. I am not a regular person anymore, nor am I rich… but my partner still associates with kids from the better parts of society… hmmm…. I don’t. I am just working class, with education and experience of the upper classes, however never willing to play along or fall for their tactics. However, some say I do fit. But then I am talking about my experiences and not what other’s think.
In the rich neighbourhoods the kids are raised to be leaders the book writes. I was thought how to lead. For four years I got that type of an education when having my spare time interests during high school. The rich kids where also there, being thaught the same. Of couse they where there… now I understand this is not so strange. I was thought the same. Be a leader.
So here I am. Reading a book, wondering why it all turned this way? Wrong person at the wrong time at the wrong place, to many times. To many times. I still happen to work with “rich” people… I still happen to get rich collegues and bosses… and work environments… as well as the “regular” and even “poor” people due to my current job settings. One day in rich area, another day in a poor area. I can do it, since I belong in neither and both at the same time…