One working week finished

I am awfully tired. This working week has been hectic and made me totally drained of energy today. I have no energy left at the end of the week. I have been sleeping after I came home and did my routine. I haven’t booked any new days. Next week I have 2 intro-days at a new work place. I also have three interviews, two very interesting ones. Well, I won’t work at the place I have been working for a while next week. I have said no to the coming week.

Well, I also need to read books and do some seminars and exams online, since I have neglected that totally lately. I have had no energy. I have also been alone with the kid and pets 1,5 week in total of the passed month. That also consumes time. Being all alone with a household to run.

Well. So even if I haven’t booked all next week, the interviews will surely consume me, they usually do, even if they are good. I have to be so “perfect” and that consumes me. I have to think of the words I chose and the answers I give.

I also need to take the boys to the vet, to give them anti hormone shots (they are not castrated, but the shot makes them medically castrated for a half year). I will do that one of the days off work.

Then I am expecting a delivery of a subject I have ordered to the studio. I am hoping I will get one day in the studio as well, the first in the new studio. It is my third week there next week and I haven’t used it yet. I have to use it. My goal is to be there at least one time in March.

I have a good score on my applied jobs and my gotten interviews. I am satisfied. Working has also boosted my confidence. I know my social skills are on top right now. I know my working skills are still 100% satisfactory at my old occupation as well, even if I haven’t worked since the beginning of the millennium, except one summer two years ago. I still got the qualified assistant nurse skills totally intact. My only problem is that the pay is so damn low. I think society should be ashamed. My IT-education is a total waste. I would enjoy that money. I have applied for work in Norway at the summer. I would leave my home, the kid, my partner and the pets for Norway during the summer. The work pays 34 800 in general in Norway, that is way more than I get in Sweden. I also get free living and free home trips on top of that. However I don’t know the Norweigan system, it seems I need some kind of license there, authorisation of some sort. I have the education, but I don’t know what more I need. In Sweden we have a nurse hierachy. Specialist nurse, regular nurse, specialist qualified nurse assistant, qualified nurse assistant and nurse assistant. There is no English name for “undersköterska” in English, since they don’t have the hierachy we have. I have translated it as qualified nurse assistant, but nurse assistant is really a lower form of job, since we are educated for at least 2 or 3 years, depending on what education you got. We can also get specialist degrees, even special education at the university, in example Silvia nurse. They study additional 2 years. There are different types of specialist, you can be a specialist with child nursing, just to mention one. I have additional education in catastrof emergency medicine (ship breaks, big accidents (vechiale, air crash)). I also have unfishined university studies in medicine and social politics. I tried the health care track after school, in academic studies, but I found other subjects more interesting and got three other degrees instead. I am perhaps a very complex individual and not your regular qualified assistant nurse. I am glad I tried the work for four months as a temp. However it is very hectic and I want more than the state gives us credit to do. If you only knew the things I saw and what I would like to change. I know so much, but I cannot speak about many things, since I have a professional secracy agreement within the education. I can only speak in general terms, but it is difficult if you cannot give real examples of how bad the Swedish health care system is. It is very much dependent on who you meet and what kind of treatment you will get. It is also the other way around, the client creates your work environment as health care staff, which some clients might not understand. Sometimes it might even seem as they lack empathy with the staff in fact. I can understand the individuals rights, but does that give them the right to make the staff’s health bad? They do. Some smoke, some have dirty apartments, some are in fact cruel, but all the kindness, the greatfulness and the joy you see in all the others you help, that makes you go on, trying to disregard the rudeness, the dirtyness and the smoke. But the smoke has been making me sick. I have had astma, slime and been in bad shape due to the smoke.

I think that all handicapped and old people living at home, or in service apartments or group homes should be obligated to have a hospital bed, to save all the backs of the Swedish health care staff. It should be free and given by the state. It is not good if we have to go on sick leave beacause of something that could be fixed by a bed. I also think that hoarders should be disallowed. I know there is a problem with all this being in conflict with your own choice, but we need to think that the this is the health care personells work environment. There is a solution to hoarders, but it costs money. They should store everything inside plastic boxes in book shelfs, up from the floor. The work environments should be cleanable.

I don’t think it is reasonable that a person that has home assistance hasn’t gotten a clean apartment. But the staff is only allowed to clean 1-1,5 hours and maximum 2 rooms and a kitchen and bathroom. That time is shit if the apartment is real dirty. You never get the apartment clean in such a few hours if it is really dirty. Health care personnel perhaps can find old food, many years old. They need to be able to have the right to throw things away, I know that goes against the individuals rights, but think of the dangers of old food being around. Bacteria and disease. I have seen my share over the years, since the 20th Century in this area of hoarding and dirt and clients not letting us clean. I have however a personality that makes them trust me and I am allowed to clean. I do one thing each time I am there. Dirty apartments might be so dirty it takes so long to clean. Sometimes I might not be able to clean. At those times I would like to have a painter that came and renovated the persons apartment. There are stoves that are from the 1950’s and we are expected to use them, they are not even complete, they can be broken. Old people can many times be poor, in those cases they might buy a new one. I have seen vacuum cleaners that are shit and do not pick up any dust for real. I would like to throw them out, but that also goes against the persons free will.

There are many things I would like to have. I would like to have a clean work environment. I would like to disallow smoking in total in all society. I cannot understand I have to take my clients smoking. Many show respect and do not smoke if I ask them, but some refuse and smoke. I have to stand outside for those while, but all of me smells smoke. I sometimes feel sick when walking into the room. Like I want to puke. I am really allergic, the doctor has confirmed. All those things make me understand that I cannot do this work. I would like to have more power. My clients like me. They see I really care. I also know a lot more about the system. I can help them more than they can imagine, but I don’t have the time or money to help them. If you only knew how I would like to help them. I have already helped them, but I would have liked to do more. I see the poverty of the retirement system. I also see the problems in habits, people cannot let go of stuff. I know a system were they could keep the stuff, but organised, however it costs money and time to fix it. I would like to be able to help them. They cannot. They are handicapped or old or both and often that goes hand in hand with poor. Some perhaps are not poor, but live as poor, I actually don’t know. But with retirement many seem to be trying to hold on to money and save. Some might be millionaires, but I have no knowledge of that, since I cannot see it showing anywhere in the lifestyles. I would like to have millions. I would do a lot.

I also see the problems in what kind of care people are offered, health care and treatment. I wish I had some power to change that to, but I know the system is screwed. I have worked on management level a long time ago(beside the management, but with no power) and seen what the problem is. I would end Landstinget. I would lay off everyone. I would rebuild a different system. I would staff differently. I would do a lot. I wouldn’t be able to do it alone. There are many problems in many parts of society. I have seen problems in other sectors as well. Health care is just one of many. I would like to change a lot. But one person has no power to change a system. Many have. You are part of that. Me to. Together we are stronger, but yet we need others to follow and to see. We need other changers. Are you a changer?